before I say what happened, I questioned whether I should do this. whether I should make a post about a private matter. but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to share something painful with you all. i do tend to keep things to myself. (habit and all that)

on the 14th my family and me took my dog of 16 years to the vent to be put down. I'll spare you the details of how she was leading up to it. let's say, her body waste happy with food. or her own. blood. she had growths under her jaw and we later learned she had them under her back ankles. (cancer. you really are a bitch.)

we took her in and we couldn't keep ourselves from tearing up. i was fighting tooth and nail to keep it together for me nans sake. i always try to be the rock she needs. but i couldn't do it.

My first memory of her was her being a pup in my hands. she was dead cute at the time and now she was an old dog. still just as loving even in this state. She died in my hands. because I wanted her to know that even if she had to go, she was not alone.

i was there for her at the beginning so god damn it, I'll be there for her to the end.

i love you Lula, and I'll always miss you. you were the best dog I ever had. EVEN IF YOU DID SHIT IN THE HOUSE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

goodbye, girl. i hope your happy in doggy heaven.